I need to gripe. I can't gripe to my sisters, they will tell. So I will gripe privately.
Caregiving is the pitts. Say Yes to everything. Never disagree. Be passive agressive with Mom. Even when she says she wants to cook, drive, whatever.
Honestly, if I wanted her dead, I would let her drive and I wouldn't care if she didn't take her meds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And walking Amy's dog is miserable!!!!! She constantly pulls out of her collar - my dogs are faster - I want to pull my hair out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I am done with my pity party. Maybe.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
I Wish I Had Someone To Talk To
It is strange, this household. My sister is working full time out of the house, which is great. She is injured, her pets are injured - they need lots of care. My sister is pretty self reliant. She can leave and do what she wants, have a massage, go shopping. She eats a very strange diet, but no one has to fix it for her - cereal, Chipolte.
I fix my mothers meals - all of them - breakfast, lunch and dinner. She prefers to eat in her room. I eat whatever, by myself. The only time we eat together is Sunday dinner. Every third week is mine to cook - so....
It doesn't matter. I have no one to talk to. No one to eat with. My mother hates what I fix. She would rather drink wine and eat potato chips. She always asks me if I need money. Why doesn't she THINK that I do - I don't work outside of the house! I HATE asking for money. I hate my life.
I feel as if I have no control over anything.
I don't know anyone here and my friends I guess aren't really friends, they don't write or call. I am the anomoly. Not married. No kids. Live at home and take care of mother. Nothing good about that.
I always put on the good face. I take care of my animals. I am a good person. I just feel like I am not here.
I fix my mothers meals - all of them - breakfast, lunch and dinner. She prefers to eat in her room. I eat whatever, by myself. The only time we eat together is Sunday dinner. Every third week is mine to cook - so....
It doesn't matter. I have no one to talk to. No one to eat with. My mother hates what I fix. She would rather drink wine and eat potato chips. She always asks me if I need money. Why doesn't she THINK that I do - I don't work outside of the house! I HATE asking for money. I hate my life.
I feel as if I have no control over anything.
I don't know anyone here and my friends I guess aren't really friends, they don't write or call. I am the anomoly. Not married. No kids. Live at home and take care of mother. Nothing good about that.
I always put on the good face. I take care of my animals. I am a good person. I just feel like I am not here.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
It Never Ends
You would think that 3 women could communicate together and live together. It is such a good idea to live together, but I don't think the pieces work together sometimes.
There is always an issue with money with Mom.
I need to get a job and have my own money. As soon as this house is together and summer is over, I am going job hunting. I hate being dependent. Amy pays me $500.00 a month and I hate it. But she doesn't get it.
It would be ideal, one day, if I lived by myself. It has never happened and I would like to try it out. But I don't have to. I don't even know how to hold a conversation any more.
It is my birthday coming up and for the first time, no strawberry shortcake with the old people at Ginger Cove - I am going to make it my self - it might be a little tricky making it for a small number.
I feel like I am just in limbo. Not going anywhere. And no one cares.
There is always an issue with money with Mom.
I need to get a job and have my own money. As soon as this house is together and summer is over, I am going job hunting. I hate being dependent. Amy pays me $500.00 a month and I hate it. But she doesn't get it.
It would be ideal, one day, if I lived by myself. It has never happened and I would like to try it out. But I don't have to. I don't even know how to hold a conversation any more.
It is my birthday coming up and for the first time, no strawberry shortcake with the old people at Ginger Cove - I am going to make it my self - it might be a little tricky making it for a small number.
I feel like I am just in limbo. Not going anywhere. And no one cares.
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