Too Much Noise

I have alot of words in my head ~ sad, angry, frustrated ~ I feel less than myself.  I feel that I am not appreciated at home ~ which may be a "normal" feeling for alot of people.  I feel that I am not ... what....I know I am not employed and that is getting to be frustrating.  I have no money, so that is frustrating.  I feel bad for my sister because her husband is not treating her right.  My sister told me she would pay me for taking care of her animals while she was gone, and she hasn't.  Of course I told her that I would do it for free, but she insisted and hasn't.  One of my sisters says the other sisters should all pay a stipend to me for taking care of mom, but they don't want to.  Mom told me she didn't like my computer down on the kitchen table because she "used to sit at the table for 30 years for dinner" and now she can't.  

She eats all her meals in the library.  And the kitchen table is clear and my computer is upstairs with me in my room.  My only space besides the bathroom.  

I am definitely feeling sorry for myself today.  Both dogs, my shadows, are on the bed.  They want to be with me. 

This is a real pity party today.  

So.  I have two places to apply for work, which I will do.  I will be good to myself.  I will write some letters.  I will take a nap.  And it will be ok.  I will disregard the noise and add music.