Friday, July 11, 2014

I Hate My Mother

Is this wrong?  I don't hate her, really.  I just don't like her.  We would never be friends.  I guess we could agree to disagree about everything.  Today, I am not sure what happened.  But I was wrong in every way.  Mom said to me "I used to sit in the kitchen everyday for 30 years, I would like to get back to it".  Which was her way of telling me to get my computer off the kitchen table.  So, I have moved all my stuff into my room ~ and I have nothing of mine downstairs.  Which works for me.  I was just downstairs so I could be close to her daily, while she sits in the library every day.  She even has her meals in there!  Works for me.

I actually cried.  Not in front of her.  I cried at Nancy's while I took care of her animals.  But I am better than that and I am better than her.  I have bent over backwards to take care of her and I will continue.  Because I am not going to feel guilty and I am going to sleep at night.  Mom is exactly like Sissy.  Both mean and self centered.  I have stopped that line - I don't have any children and I am not going to have any.  

I am actually having a drink to settle down and be able to drive her to meet everyone for dinner.  I may just drink dinner.  And smile.

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